For many parents, the idea of touring the world with their children in tow sounds like Hell. But those who have tried it report that their experience was far closer to Heaven. The notion of being stuck together as a family 24 hours a day, seven days a week, is certainly a daunting prospect.
Burgnard family in Quebec
Getting away from it all: the Burgnard family in Quebec. The couple and their daughters are now on Easter Island
Mark Twain even managed a quip for this: "Familiarity breeds contempt - and children." But he also said: "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness." Travel - if planned correctly, with time together and apart - has a mysterious way of resolving family problems and of getting everyone rested and in the mood to start having fun again. Think therapy without the shrink.
Parents will have plenty to consider before they pack and go. They need to prepare for exhaustion and for new responsibilities, as well as recalibrating their lives on all levels - including career, self-image and curtailed freedoms and relationships. Compare these challenges with those faced by freewheeling kids on gap years and there's simply no contest.
So why doesn't putting one's feet up at home have the same benefits? Besides the sink and the stove, there's that third party - the television. You might well get some rest, but a clear head to work things out? Or the energy to do something enjoyable? No chance.
The decision to get up and go can be a tough one, although some people need little persuasion. Juliet Heller was one such. Her eureka moment came when she was reading a bedtime story to her son. The tale told of a family that went sailing around the world. As the pages were turned, the fictional parents started talking, smiling at one another and cuddling.
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"Mmm, good idea," Juliet said to herself as she read on. And so off they went, to cruise the canals and waterways of the Netherlands for six weeks. "Apart from consolidating our own relationships, there's a special bond between sailors that makes friendships quick and easy to forge, especially when there are children on board," she says. Needless to say, the family had a wonderful time and this became the first of many similar trips.
The effects of such action are usually immediate. Besides the usual travel-dazzle pleasures, there's nothing quite like a world perspective to make us feel fortunate with our lot. Every trip also contributes to a sense of collective achievement as a family, and few sights are as warming as watching your offspring being patted and hugged by people you meet along the way. Even the odd run-in with poor companions can have a silver lining. As every parent knows, Other People's Children can make you feel curiously satisfied with your own.
Taking time out can also help parents to absorb some of their children's ability to play, making for some memorable moments together. Children, of course, are naturally amenable. As the novelist and travel writer Pico Iyer said: "Every child is a born adventurer, and every traveller a born-again child." Soon, everyone unwinds and begins to enjoy themselves: toes are wiggled in streams; milk shakes, hammocks and dreams are shared.
As part of the relaxation process, couples will inevitably have some frank conversations. Rows might occur, but problems between partners are best not ignored. And what better way to work things out than against a different backdrop?
The Harrises - Yael, in marketing and PR and husband Sam, a photographer - claim to have avoided conflict during their six years travelling in India and Australia with their two daughters, now eight and three. They both found work along the way, but otherwise conserved finances by "wwoofing" (from the acronym WWOOF - Willing Workers On Organic Farms). The scheme allows a few hours of farm work each day in exchange for food and a bed.
It's a period that they already refer to as their "Golden Years". When asked about rows, their response is: "What rows?" They eventually admit to a patch of "some tension" years ago. While listing the familiar benefits of travel, they also point out that, for most children, it's a rare treat to have both parents around all day long. "When you spend so much time together, you get to read and respect each other's needs," says Yael.
Adolescents have their own problems to work through, which is why they tend to be more difficult. The Burgnards, both teachers (a very transportable skill), are currently on Easter Island, mid-way through a gap year with their three daughters aged 16, 19, and 21. They say that being together has been a challenge, although they value the closeness it has given them as a family. Their youngest, Manouck, declares: "I wouldn't be talking to my parents in this way if my friends were around." Maybe that's the point. Without email, Facebook or the pub, everyone gets to spend more time with each other.
Matt Heason, now 35, trekked across Sudan and Nepal as a child with his parents. These days, he looks forward to travelling to his parents' kitchen, where the family gathers several times a year. After dinner, the travel stories are re-lived one by one, with the memories illustrated by the expedition photographs plastered all over the kitchen wall. As Matt's father, Alan (now a grandfather), says: "It's curious how even bad patches make for good memories. They can keep the kids happy for years." The lows, the highs, they're all good. What else in life can make a similar claim?
source:http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/main.jhtml?xml=/education/2008/01/12/fatravel112.xml
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